Why Monogamy Might Be Killing Your Sex Drive

Monogamy has been the gold standard for relationships for centuries. You find “the one,” settle down, and live happily ever after, right?

But what if this fairy-tale ideal is actually the reason your sex life has flat-lined?

Could monogamy be the biggest mistake you’ve ever made in your love life?

The Harsh Reality of Monogamy

Let’s face it: monogamy can become boring. While it works for some, for many people, the passion and excitement of the early days quickly fade away. Once you’ve ‘claimed’ each other, what’s left? Many couples find themselves falling into a routine – predictable, passionless routine.

Is monogamy really what we’re wired for? Or is it just a construct society has forced upon us, keeping us from exploring our true desires?

The Biological Argument: Are Humans Meant to Be Monogamous?

It’s a controversial question, but science suggests that humans may not actually be built for lifelong monogamy. Evolutionary biology points to the fact that many species, including some of our closest animal relatives, are not strictly monogamous. If humans have evolved to spread their genes widely, why are we forcing ourselves into a model that works for so few?

In fact, the idea of one person satisfying all your sexual and emotional needs for a lifetime might be unrealistic.

The ‘New Monogamy’: Can You Stay Together But Date Others?

The good news is that more and more couples are exploring alternatives to traditional monogamy. Open relationships, polyamory, and consensual non-monogamy are becoming more mainstream, offering couples a chance to explore other partners while maintaining their core relationship.

Does this sound crazy? Well, according to studies, many people are already secretly fantasizing about it. In fact, 1 in 5 people admit to having some form of consensual non-monogamy in their lives, whether that’s an open relationship or something more fluid. So, it’s not as taboo as you might think.

Monogamy Is Not a One-Size-Fits-All Model

The reality is, monogamy works for some, but not for all. If you’ve noticed that your sex drive has taken a nosedive, it might not be because of you or your partner – it might be the limitations of the monogamous structure. Maybe the issue isn’t the people involved, but the rules you’re both trying to follow.

Would you be happier, and hornier, if you both loosened up the rules? Could experimenting with non-monogamy actually save your relationship rather than doom it?

Breaking Free from the Guilt and Taboo

Of course, society has ingrained the idea that if you even think about someone else sexually, you’re doing something wrong. We’re taught to feel guilty about attraction outside of our relationship, which only leads to suppressed desire, resentment, and an eventual breakdown in connection.

But what if attraction to others is perfectly natural? What if the taboo is actually the thing making us more miserable and less satisfied in our love lives?

By lifting the weight of these expectations, many couples find that their relationships become stronger, not weaker. They can explore their sexuality freely while maintaining a deep, emotional bond with their partner. It’s about trust and openness, not deception and secrecy.

The Polyamory Debate: What If You Could Love More Than One Person?

Polyamory is often misunderstood as simply being about sex with multiple people, but it’s much more than that. Polyamory is the belief that you can have deep, meaningful, loving relationships with more than one person at a time.

This idea flies in the face of everything we’re taught about love—that you can only truly love one person at a time. But what if that’s simply not true? What if your heart has the capacity to love more than one person deeply and intimately, just in different ways?

For some, polyamory is the answer to breaking free from the boredom and pressure of monogamy. It’s an exploration of what love and sex could really be like when the boundaries are pushed, and freedom is allowed.

Fear of Losing Your Partner: The Real Issue?

For many, the idea of non-monogamy or polyamory brings up one major fear: losing their partner. But the truth is, many relationships fail within traditional monogamy, too. The fear of losing someone should not be the reason you stay in a system that doesn’t work for you. In fact, couples who experiment with these models often report feeling more connected and secure in their relationship, precisely because there’s no longer a need for secrecy or repression.

Monogamy may not be as ‘safe’ as we’ve been led to believe.

So, is monogamy the real problem?

If your sex drive has been suffering, it’s time to ask yourself a provocative question: Is monogamy really working for you, or is it holding you back? It might be time to reconsider what love, sex, and commitment really mean. Exploring consensual non-monogamy or polyamory could be the key to unlocking not just a more exciting sex life but a deeper and more fulfilling emotional connection as well.